Burns AND Brands

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, SR.

You are roughly FOURTY YEARS OLD, and you never really give a straight answer about your age. People have stopped asking, because when you want to avoid a topic, YOU KICK UP A HUGE FUSS. Your son is KARKAT JR, and there is a lot of confusion between the two of you. It's somewhat eerie, how YOU LOOK NEARLY IDENTICAL.

You are the ENGLISH TEACHER at your son's school, and you take your job very seriously. So seriously, in fact, the only reason you haven't been fired for CUSSING is because you are very, very good at the English language (and teaching it, apparaently. Your methods are unique, but work very well).

At the moment, you live in a house with your son and you lover, whose official occupation is the school's gym teacher. You know there are other things he does that aren't quite legal, but you don't really ask about it much. Your husband is just as ANGRY AND STUBBORN AS YOU ARE.

Besides this, you're mostly calm until you open your mouth. You tend to speak AND SHOUT in alteration, putting plenty emphasis on your points. You are a SURPRISINGLY SPIRITUAL INDIVIDUAL, and you've spent a lot of time thinking about religious and moral subjects. You are also not without your sins, however. You have SOME VERY VIOLENT AND DANGEROUS KINKS, including a love for blood.

Your bedroom is soundproofed.

what. jesus fuck, WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO SHOW ME.

December52011

meet the parents?

discjockeyswag:

Dave grinned at Karkat, pulling back after a few moments. “Welcome, sweetheart, ” he said teasingly, finally untangling his hands from the boys hair. He shivered at lightly from his boyfriends hands and glanced over to the kitchen, debating how much time they had left before he probably got his ass kicked. Shrugging, Dave made a decision, probably a bad one and leaned in to kiss the dark haired boy again, though this time gentler, and with a considerate lack of teeth.

“Denifitely next time. I’ll kick Kit out and you can do it wearing nothing but an apron while I watch.” Slick smirked, closing the fridge again one he had the canister of cream. Sidling back over to Kat, he set the tube down on the counter and wrapped his arms around his lover, nuzzling his next lightly. “Maybe I could fuck you while you make it. Never a bad time to learn how to multitask.”

He moved to bite the blond’s neck, only to pause when he heard quiet words being exchanged in the other room and huffed. “Jesus fuck.” Snatching the whipped cream again and snagging forks from the drawer, he walked out of the kitchen and elbow-shoved Karkat right off of Dave as he practically slammed them onto the table. “Y’kids can’t keep off each other for an hour. Christ. If I ever get a page saying you two were caught fucking in school, Kit, I swear to God I will rip both of your dicks off.”

Kat had been enjoying himself, and had been about to respond to the thought, but all too quickly Slick moved away and out of the room.

“Jesus fuck, indeed,” he muttered under his breath a little cross, grabbing plates and moving to follow him.

Karkat let out a somewhat startled yell when he was suddenly shoved off of the other teen. “FUCK! IT WASN’T LIKE WE WERE ABOUT TO DOG IT RIGHT HERE BY THE DINNER TABLE. THAT’S ONLY SOMETHING YOU AND DAD WOULD FUCKING DO.” He hissed, seething at the action, the theoretical accusation, and the threat, and pointing a finger in Kat’s direction.

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