Burns AND Brands

meet the parents?

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 22:21:29 -0600

discjockeyswag:

Dave grinned at Karkat, pulling back after a few moments. “Welcome, sweetheart, ” he said teasingly, finally untangling his hands from the boys hair. He shivered at lightly from his boyfriends hands and glanced over to the kitchen, debating how much time they had left before he probably got his ass kicked. Shrugging, Dave made a decision, probably a bad one and leaned in to kiss the dark haired boy again, though this time gentler, and with a considerate lack of teeth.

“Denifitely next time. I’ll kick Kit out and you can do it wearing nothing but an apron while I watch.” Slick smirked, closing the fridge again one he had the canister of cream. Sidling back over to Kat, he set the tube down on the counter and wrapped his arms around his lover, nuzzling his next lightly. “Maybe I could fuck you while you make it. Never a bad time to learn how to multitask.”

He moved to bite the blond’s neck, only to pause when he heard quiet words being exchanged in the other room and huffed. “Jesus fuck.” Snatching the whipped cream again and snagging forks from the drawer, he walked out of the kitchen and elbow-shoved Karkat right off of Dave as he practically slammed them onto the table. “Y’kids can’t keep off each other for an hour. Christ. If I ever get a page saying you two were caught fucking in school, Kit, I swear to God I will rip both of your dicks off.”

Kat had been enjoying himself, and had been about to respond to the thought, but all too quickly Slick moved away and out of the room.

“Jesus fuck, indeed,” he muttered under his breath a little cross, grabbing plates and moving to follow him.

Karkat let out a somewhat startled yell when he was suddenly shoved off of the other teen. “FUCK! IT WASN’T LIKE WE WERE ABOUT TO DOG IT RIGHT HERE BY THE DINNER TABLE. THAT’S ONLY SOMETHING YOU AND DAD WOULD FUCKING DO.” He hissed, seething at the action, the theoretical accusation, and the threat, and pointing a finger in Kat’s direction.

Just do your bullshit paperwork so y'have a mind left long enough for me t'fuck you tonight.

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 21:48:56 -0600

MAYBE a quick session.

MAYBE.

Ugh. When you finally give in and retire I'm going t'praise the fuckin' gods.

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:38:33 -0600

Should I take this as a cue to answer the numbers?

Should I bother sendin' numbers, or should I just ask the questions I'm interested in in bed later?

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 12:49:08 -0600

Darling, I’m going to be busy with ALL THE FUCKING PROJECTS, REVIEWS, AND LATE GRADES for the next two days. I need to keep up if I don’t want to be drowned in paper on Friday.

No time for bed again, tonight. Blame it on the students.

/cranky

I WILL ANSWER "YES" OR "NO" TO THESE QUESTIONS, SO SEND ME SOME NUMBERS

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:58:37 -0600

I WILL ANSWER "YES" OR "NO" TO THESE QUESTIONS, SO SEND ME SOME NUMBERS:

lesbiannextdoor:

0. kissed a different race other than myself

1. kissed a girl

2. kissed a boy

3. kissed in the rain

4. kissed on a ferris wheel

5. kissed underwater

6. kissed on new years

7. kissed under the mistletoe

8. kissed on 11:11

9. failed my drivers test

10. showered with someone else

11. made someone cry

12. broke someone’s heart

13. rejected someone

14. gotten rejected

15. gone skinny dipping

16. wished on a shooting star

17. wished at 11:11

18. wished on a eyelash

19. wished on birthday candles

20. had a wish come true

21. stayed up for more than 24 hours

22. had a sleepover with the opposite sex

23. slept in the same bed as the opposite sex

24. had a date to a dance

25. had a one night stand

26. had my heart broken

27. made fun of someone for being fat

28. cut myself

29. liked more than one person at the same time

30. kissed more than two people in one night

31. found something valuable on the ground

32. been bitch slapped

33. been slapped

34. been told i’m ugly

35. been told i’m worthless

36. slapped someone

37. talked to someone via webcam

38. had a virus on my computer

39. had my butt slapped by someone i don’t know

40. kissed someone i don’t know

41. have a pillow pet

42. said something i wish i could take back

43. broken up with someone

44. lost a friend

45. had a fight with someone over a guy

46. cheated on someone

47. someone cheated on someone, with me

48. sexted

49. gotten bullied via text/internet/calls

50. fell in love

(( oops guys I arted again ))

Sat, 03 Dec 2011 01:45:38 -0600

(( oops guys I arted again ))

((I actually feel bad for spamming with these and oh hey look...

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:03:00 -0600

((I actually feel bad for spamming with these and oh hey look character asks /SHOT :V and this is, like father like son OTL

Three Days Grace - Pain))

/slaps his face away wow vantas sr youre a fucking jackass

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 02:01:00 -0600

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

discjockeyswag:

fucking fuck

i just suck at speaking tonight

Amazing.

This is the first thing I agree with you on tonight.

I’m still asking you, by the way. You are accountable for ALL OF MY SON’S EMOTIONAL FRUSTRATIONS, now. Are you not putting out or something?

this is not something im discussing with you as his parents

because thats just fucked up

dont worry your pretty little head ive got this

I didn’t ask you how or when or where.

I just asked a simple yes or no question.

DEFENSIVE, are we?

/slaps his face away wow vantas sr youre a fucking jackass

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:57:35 -0600

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

discjockeyswag:

im sorry what?

i couldnt hear you over the sound of how fucking awesome i am

besides the only thing here thats not proper is you and your fucking husband

you two are crazy loud

all

the

fucking

time

Exactly.

I can’t hear the sound of your ‘fucking awesome’ over the sound of our awesome fucking.

And that is exactly how it is supposed to be.

your awesome fucking scars your son and sends him crawling to my arms

boo you whore

The last time I checked he was screaming at his computer in frustration.

And then he skipped dinner and went to bed early.

I’d been meaning to ask what was up with that, thank you for reminding me.

fucking fuck

i just suck at speaking tonight

Amazing.

This is the first thing I agree with you on tonight.

I’m still asking you, by the way. You are accountable for ALL OF MY SON’S EMOTIONAL FRUSTRATIONS, now. Are you not putting out or something?

/slaps his face away wow vantas sr youre a fucking jackass

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:27:45 -0600

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

discjockeyswag:

im sorry what?

i couldnt hear you over the sound of how fucking awesome i am

besides the only thing here thats not proper is you and your fucking husband

you two are crazy loud

all

the

fucking

time

Exactly.

I can’t hear the sound of your ‘fucking awesome’ over the sound of our awesome fucking.

And that is exactly how it is supposed to be.

your awesome fucking scars your son and sends him crawling to my arms

boo you whore

The last time I checked he was screaming at his computer in frustration.

And then he skipped dinner and went to bed early.

I’d been meaning to ask what was up with that, thank you for reminding me.

/slaps his face away wow vantas sr youre a fucking jackass

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:13:00 -0600

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

Why don’t you take your silly girl shades off and look me in the eye.

AND THEN DISPERSE ONTO MY BEAUTIFUL AUDITORY SENSORS A FACT OR SUBJECT UPON WHICH I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWLEDGE.

girl shades? hah

funny

these are the fuckin epitome of cool, check it mang

you probably couldnt even handle my real eyes

Is that your insecurity speaking?

Or rather, shouting.

It’s extremely loud. What did I tell you about proper indoor voices.

im sorry what?

i couldnt hear you over the sound of how fucking awesome i am

besides the only thing here thats not proper is you and your fucking husband

you two are crazy loud

all

the

fucking

time

Exactly.

I can’t hear the sound of your ‘fucking awesome’ over the sound of our awesome fucking.

And that is exactly how it is supposed to be.

((typos what typos))

Ass, you've been ignorin' me. Gimme attention an' maybe I'll letcha have your night in peace.

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:11:36 -0600

It’s almost midterms.

You know how I get around midterms.

You’re going to have to be real sweet if you want anything tonight, darling. *and by sweet, he means, let the blood flow*

/big derpy grin of course i do sir!!! it took some convincing but he let me, dont worry :3

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:09:20 -0600

solicitoussalamander:

karkinoscarcinoma:

signlesssufferer:

Good girl.

I wish Karkat was as nice and polite as you and John.

You are such good kids.

FUCK YOU, DAD.

i dunno mr. vantas!! ive seen karkat be super sweet to dave and john and stuff!! :D

and karkatttt! thats a bad word ):

How sweet is that, she’s even putting up for someone like you, Karkitty.

You tell him, girl.

/slaps his face away wow vantas sr youre a fucking jackass

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:07:55 -0600

discjockeyswag:

signlesssufferer:

Why don’t you take your silly girl shades off and look me in the eye.

AND THEN DISPERSE ONTO MY BEAUTIFUL AUDITORY SENSORS A FACT OR SUBJECT UPON WHICH I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWLEDGE.

girl shades? hah

funny

these are the fuckin epitome of cool, check it mang

you probably couldnt even handle my real eyes

Is that your insecurity speaking?

Or rather, shouting.

It’s extremely loud. What did I tell you about proper indoor voices.

/big derpy grin of course i do sir!!! it took some convincing but he let me, dont worry :3

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:04:22 -0600

Good girl.

I wish Karkat was as nice and polite as you and John.

You are such good kids.

M'always anonymous. How long did it take me to tell you my real name? Now kiss. /shoves him into a wall and leans close

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:03:04 -0600

I think you’ve forgotten it’s MY turn today.

/snaps at him, pushing hard at his shoulders

I’ll FUCKING KISS YOU when I feel like it.

hi mr. vantas!!!

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:59:10 -0600

Why hello there, little Ms. Egbert.

I hope you have your father’s permission to be here. That’s what I’m assuming.

/kisses the top of her head, smiles slightly and adds a pat for good measure

/slaps his face away wow vantas sr youre a fucking jackass

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:57:49 -0600

Why don’t you take your silly girl shades off and look me in the eye.

AND THEN DISPERSE ONTO MY BEAUTIFUL AUDITORY SENSORS A FACT OR SUBJECT UPON WHICH I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWLEDGE.

You fuckin' whore. Kissin' everyone that asks for one. S'wrong with you?

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:51:34 -0600

I don’t really know what the point of the anonymity was, YOUR ACCENT RINGS PRETTY FUCKING CLEAR.

It’s only five kisses. Jealous?

*beams… and crosses his arms, and positively keeps his lips to himself*

hah this is great

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:50:16 -0600

Oh.

*chomps on his nose*

I was saving that for you.